Growing Up Too Fast What Is Happening To Childhood

June 4, 2009 by  
Filed under General

I look at my twin boys and wonder where the time went.  I can remember when they were 5lb preemies in the NICU and seemed like such tiny little things.   They will soon be turning 3 and are talking and learning so many things.

I hope that this doesn’t make me sound like a snob but I am really taken back by kids today.   I cannot believe some of the things that they do and what comes out of their mouths.  Here I am trying to teach my children to respect people and things and at the same time I feel like they are being thrown to the wolves.  I know that things are different than they were for me 33 years ago, but I hate the feeling like I have to just sit here and let it happen because this is the way of the world.

There was one day in particular that I look over to see another child throwing sand in my childrens eyes and face, and then proceeding to tell my sons that they were stupid!  Neither one of my children know this word, nor do I want them learning it.  No parents were around, and I had to step in and say something while they ran off still yelling the same things.  I know I can’t be there to protect them all the time, but man does it make me so angry.

Then I had another child in my yard with a creature, and he was tossing the thing around and just not being respectful to the poor thing.  My husband said this is the sort of things boys do, but I told him I do not want my children learning to mistreat living things.  I asked this kid to politely leave the yard, and he politely ignored me.  I cannot believe how kids have such a lack of respect for anything or anyone, and this kid only had to be 5 or 6.  I was saying yes maam and no maam at that age, and found life to be much more pleasant when I listened to adults.

I am very worried when we have to send them to school and what they might pick up.  It makes me feel like everything I tried to instill in my kids will be reversed.  If I mouthed off like that my mouth would have been filled with soap.  I know I can only control my kids and not others, but I am horrified at what they will be exposed too.  I miss the innocence of childhood that once was.  I believed in Santa till I was 9 and now I will be lucky to keep the magic alive in my own children’s eyes until they are 5.  It makes me sad.

Toddlers and Why They Don’t Listen

March 26, 2009 by  
Filed under General

toddler

I had just recently put up a post about my two and the fact that they don’t like to be told NO and they are always telling me “no mommy.” I just recently came across a really interesting article on toddlers and why they don’t do what they are told. It makes a little more sense and here I am thinking that my two are going to grow up and people are going to think that my two are not well behaved.

This article is from Live Science, I am not familiar with them but the article was somewhat interesting. According to the article, toddlers hear what you are saying but they basically store the information for later use.

A test was set up to measure the pupil difference in 3 yr olds versus older kids to determine the mental effort of the child to study the cognitive abilities of 3-and-a-half-year-olds and 8-year-olds. What they found was that pupil measurements showed that 3-year-olds neither plan for the future nor live completely in the present. Instead, they call up the past as they need it.

I thought it was pretty interesting because we as adults basically have expectations of our little ones. You know they can understand what we are saying but I think they process a whole lot differently than we expect. You can read the entire article here

Toddlers and NO

March 20, 2009 by  
Filed under General

stress

Yep it’s just been one of those days!  I have twins yep, I know you knew that, but I hear everything resonating in my ear times two.  There are some days where I feel like I am the kid in the house.  I find myself discussing things with my two year olds, and feel just like stomping around the house and telling everyone NO!

We are at that ever so wonderful stage of toddlerhood where my two boys are asserting their independence.  Every other word is accompanied by the word no in this house and “no mommy me do it allllll by myself” and I think I am about to lose my mind.  I know that this is just a test and a battle of wills, and sometimes I feel like I am failing miserably.  Everyone, assures me that it is just a phase, and the promise of it will get better bellowing from the mouths of people can sometimes sound like nails on a chalkboard.

There are days I tell you, I feel like a complete idiot trying to carry on a conversation with not one but two, two year olds.  Today I sounded like an auctioneer, repeating myself…no no no, come here, come here, would you stop please.  I am sure I look a bit comical, chasing my naked son who decided to take off his diaper and RUN!  Here I am running circles around the couch and praying like heck he doesn’t pee all over the carpet.  Needless to say I am exhausted.

baby_crying_small

So how do I get them to cooperate?

I have found that instead of saying “No” all the time, I offer them a choice.  Something about being negative all the time seems to make them retaliate.  Granted there are some things that are just plain no.  Giving them a choice sort of empowers them a little and makes them feel like they are part of the decision.  “No you may not have candy but you can have this instead”, almost never works because they are already set on the candy.  So instead I offer them two things they CAN have, and say “Do you want a banana or some grapes” and it seems to work about 99% of the time.

They are starting to understand more, so at meal times things have gotten easier.  I tell them if they want their dessert or treat that they must eat what they are going to eat.  This seems to motivate them just to eat well.  I do not force them to clean their plate but expect them to eat reasonably so they aren’t filling their stomachs with treats.

Time Outs:  We are still tweaking with these to see if they actually work.  For one of the boys just time out anywhere in the house works.  For my other one he has to be separated from everyone, and this is very upsetting for him but it seems to actually work. Me on the other hand, am emotional about a lot of it and sort of feel like I am not doing the right thing, so it is tough.  As a parent you want your children to grow up being respectful individuals.  I am always worrying if I am being a good mom, I think we are our worst critics.  And why is it that everyone tells me how good they are, yet I am still pulling out my hair?

I am sure it is all just a phase and this aspect will get better, but there is another phase around the bend I am sure.  I hope my mommy armor is tough enough to withstand!

When Do You Let Your Kids Out To Play?

March 9, 2009 by  
Filed under General

So being a new mom, I am sort of learning as I go and have become a pro at other things.  Since having the boys, life has certainly had it’s twists and turns.  I often times wonder what I did with my time before they were born because it seems like my days are blur.   No two days are alike, and there are some days like today, where I just wanted to cry.

I think outdoor play is so important and  with the weather getting nicer, we love to be outside as a family.  The boys simply adore walking on the path out back, playing in the sandbox, and just being outdoors.  I love it because they can burn off all that boy energy that they seem to have.  My husband and I were discussing when we should be able to let the boys to play outside on their own.  I feel compelled to watch their every move because they are only 2.5 yrs old and since I have two of them, someone is always doing or getting into something they shouldn’t.  I see some kids in the neighborhood that are just out playing, and I wonder where their parents are.  I simply don’t feel comfortable with letting them out without me or my husband with them.  They just seem so not ready to be out playing alone and I don’t intend on letting them for a long time yet.  So when do you let them out to play without watching their every move?  It just seems scary to me, especially in this crazy world.  I am a bit taken back by how young the kids I see playing alone, walking down the sidewalk with no parents in site.  My two are just babies to me.  Am I just being paranoid?

Morals Life’s Building Blocks

January 29, 2009 by  
Filed under General, Product Reviews

banner3

Teaching morals to our children is one of the most critical life lessons that they can learn.  It is up to us as parents to help guide them in the direction and hope that carry this with them throughout.  I guess as a first time parent, you are always asking yourself if you are doing things right with your children.

Life’s Building Blocks, Inc., is a company that designs, creates, markets and sells an extensive line of unique products and programs dedicated to helping parents develop morals and character in children in a fun and interactive environment. Their products include books, board games, toys and DVD’s.

At Life’s Building Blocks, their products have several objectives

Moral Development:

Encourage children to think about everyday moral decisions and decide the right course of action.

Character Development

The initial focus will be on teaching children to understand the concepts (virtues) of Honesty, Persistence (tenaciousness), Fairness, Courage, Kindness and Self-Control.

At Life’s Building Blocks, they make this learning process fun and non intimidating.  Thus, leaving valuable insight for you as a parent and giving your child the tools to make good decisions and deal with the consequences.  I think this is a really positive and good idea and it is worth taking a look at.   They offer a free e-newsletter with tons of information and resources for parents today.    Just go to www.lifesbuildingblocks.com and sign up.  It is a simple and easy way to get some really valuable tools and information.

« Previous Page