Mommy Needs A Time Out Too

February 16, 2011 by  
Filed under General

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I spend about ninety five percent of my day tending to the needs of two four year olds.  My day is filled with mommy, I want juice, mommy, can you help me, mommy will you play with me, mommy can we go outside and breaking up all those wonderful arguments that siblings have throughout the day.  When you are the chief cook and bottle washer, there isn’t much time left for yourself, and moms in general often find it hard to take a time out for themselves.

I have found that being a parent is one of the hardest jobs out there.  You instantly have to become very unselfish and your primary focus is directed at the little people in your life.  I absolutely have no regrets and being a mother is one of the most rewarding things in the world and I certainly wouldn’t change it.  But, over the past two years, I had been feeling more stressed out, and I realized that I had to change something.  I think as mothers  we are constantly overseeing the house, the kids, work, and get so caught up that we neglect ourselves.  I slowly began to realize that I was missing the quiet times where I would just sit and think, read a book, or just hop in the bath without having people who wanted to follow and jump in with me.  Most of the time it didn’t bother me, but then you start to feel like you can’t think properly, and then you start to throw tantrums right along with your kids.  You get lost in dealing with nothing but children all day long and you forget that you are an adult and adults need adult time away from that constant atmosphere.

With kiddos running around, I had to start finding creative ways to take  time outs for myself and ways to make my day easier.  I had to learn that was ok to tell my husband when he got home that I needed a break.  I think as a mom you feel guilty for wanting that.

My favorite time out: Is the bathtub.  When my husband gets home and after all the dinner is done, he takes the boys and gets rowdy with with them so they can expend all that glorious boy energy, while I escape to a hot bath.  It is imperative that you close the door and lock it.  I shut our bedroom door and lock it and run the bath.  I grab my speakers with my itouch and bring up pandora radio, and I select relaxation music and sink down into the suds.  I can still hear the boys playing but eventually the music just drowns it out.  I have found that this just takes my mind off of all the to dos  so I can relax.  It may be only twenty or thirty minutes but it works and I come out refreshed.

Throughout my day: One of my favorites that actually involves the kids, is to just go in the bedroom and plop as we call it.  It gives me a little break from the constant flurry and we sit there and talk or read a book.  The boys love it and I can sometimes just close my eyes for 5 or ten minutes.

Other ways throughout my day, I take naps when the boys do, I have a set time during my day where the boys know that its quiet play and they have to go find something to do minus mommy for at least thirty minutes.  At first this didn’t work, but now they enjoy that time (kids need breaks from parents too!).

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter what you do, just as long as you do something for yourself.  It makes you a better parent in the long run because we all need that time where the only focus is yourself.  You have to give yourself permission and realize it’s more selfish to not do those little things for yourself.

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Time Outs For Mom

February 3, 2009 by  
Filed under General, helpful hints


Ever wonder what you did with your time before you had kids? Since having my two, I often wonder exactly that. It seems that there aren’t enough hours in my day anymore, and I find myself wishing for a spare eight on days like today.

You need a time out:

When you have a safety gate in place at the bottom of the stairs and your toddler has made it up the stairs (in spite of your preventative efforts) and has managed to climb on the outside spindles and is dangling at the top. In turn giving mom a heart attack.

When you are stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper trying to describe to your toddlers exactly where to find it. They brought me a diaper instead. I suppose if it were my size it would do the trick! I later got a soggy roll, that had been dropped in the other toilet, but it made me smile.

But seriously, you need to take some “me” moments when you are at home with your children all day. It will make you a much better mom in the long run. I am slowly beginning to understand that it doesn’t make me a bad person for wanting or taking a moment for myself. I have also come to the conclusion that going to the grocery store, is not a time out for me. It is a chore to go to the store, but for some, that may be a good thing to do.

Tonight, when my dear husband got home, I let him play with the boys, and I went into our bedroom, locked the door, and watched 30 min of a tv show in the dark on my laptop, then I took a hot shower. That 45 min to myself made a huge difference in how I handled the rest of the evening. I was much less crabby, the boys weren’t crabby and both my husband and I got to enjoy their bath and bedtime because, I wasn’t running around to get a million things done plus my shower. Everything was done, and I got to enjoy our family time.

Sometimes I just close the door and sit in the dark and cry, but even crying has its benefits. The best time out I have ever had was in a dark room where I cried because I loved my boys so much and couldn’t imagine life without them, and how truly thankful I was for all the stress, all the laughs and how much they have changed my life. Hormonal I guess lol.

This is why time outs are so important. And what you do for a tim eout is strictly up to you. They make you a better mommy, they make you more thankful for your life and your family, and give you a chance to reconnect with yourself and motivate you to get through the next day. Take a deep breath and take a moment for you!